Shadow’s May Not Be Seen; Yet They’re Alway’s There

For Shadow 09/10/99 – 02/19/12

It finally happened; some of the last pieces of Shadow’s life finally touched in some way. The final pieced being her bed needed for an overnight guest. Silly as it sounds each small item has felt like a betrayal; silly I know. What started as a couple lines that was finished in a day two months ago ended with this that’s been done for nearly as long; simply sitting as a draft. Waiting for something to bring closure, at the same time not wanting it. Knowing that once it’s out there it’s final, it’s over. Exhale: feels as if we’ve just found it and it’s time to get this out there.

I don’t have much of a memory of Shadow prior to July of 2003 when she would have been around three. In fact; about the only memory I have is a few quick visits when she made the trip up home with my sister, niece and then-brother-in-law. My folks weren’t real keen on Shadow or my sister’s other pup at the house. Together Dax and Shadow were chaos on eight legs and precious little escaped their built in rear-whips and full speed ahead noses.

Right after Malorie was born we decided to take a trip to St. Louis to see her. That would also be my first true exposure to Shadow, several days over the Independence Day holiday, 2003. I recall her being a little loud and a little hyper. That’s pretty much what I remember. Given that Dax was a seemingly huge, white, rambunctious German Shepherd, Shadow was almost a footnote in their home. I also recall my sister’s multiple comments about Shadow being a water dog and consistently tormented by Dax; generally she was the passive pup consistently taking a back seat. Clearly not much of an impression left that long, hot July summer weekend.

On a September’s day more than four years later my sister called with a situation. She was faced with giving up one of her two pups; either Dax or Shadow. Dax was her first so it was Shadow she had been desperately trying to place in a suitable home. My sister likes dogs; the same I would later learn Ames likes dogs. I knew this was unbelievably difficult for her; first making the choice between the two and second the dwindling prospects of finding a home for a neurotic, food motivated, nearly eight-year-old lab. Who wants to walk into that mess? I don’t recall the exact sequence of events; I had a fair amount going on at the time, yet I do remember it didn’t take long before I agreed to make the trip to St. Louis to pick up my new eight year old pup.

Ames and I headed down for the weekend (September 21, 2007) anxiously anticipating the addition to our growing family. Three days and a bucketful of tears, laughs and best-wishes later we were back home with our new gal. This was also a significant milestone in the budding relationship between Ames and me. We had no way to know what the next four and 1/2 years would bring!

With Dax in St. Louis Home(Pick-up Weekend)_9/23/07

Right away Shadow fit in (more or less) with Rosie, Walter and Gordon. They each maintained their space and pecking order yet they were easily able to coexist under one roof. Sometimes merging doesn’t always work the best; in this case we were on the right track right out of the gate.

Showing Typical Indifference to Gordon__09/07

First Photo of Rosie, Walter and Shadow_09/07

Moving from a predictable home with other animals and multiple people into my single-dom still had its challenges. In spite of outward appearances it became clear Shadow still had plenty of internal conflicts and as it turned out she worked on resolving them when she was left home alone. This was, after all, quite a change for her. If something could be tugged, pulled, pushed, scratched, chewed; it was. If it was questionable she gave it a shot. Trim, doors(yup, entire doors), bowls–everything. Topping it off was a tall, covered kitchen garbage can. Within a month of her moving in I was on the phone at 10:00pm one night with the emergency vet clinic. The same one to which I had taken Eddy and Roxy on their final trip fewer than four months earlier. How could I have possibly have ended up in this situation again, already. Four weeks after rescuing her from an uncertain future I was faced with again deciding her future. A couple of days after she swallowed a corn-cob I was down to only a couple more hours to get back to the doc: operate now or put her down. I still go a bit numb when I recall that night.

Newly Shaved Post-Corn-Cob-Op; Admiring Her Door Destruction_10/07

Fast forwarding several months results in a little more sanity for everyone. She recovered nicely from surgery and was bounding along within several weeks. Our first full winter together in Des Moines would (unknowingly at the time) be our last. Shadow was all play, all outdoors, all the time; conditions be damned. She was all dog.

Galloping Across Gray’s Lake___12/2007

SnowPlowing Through, Raccoon River Park__02/2008

Spring ’08 came and we decided to take our first big trip with all the pups. The hills of NW Arkansas made for top-notch canine accommodations and a better trip could not have been scripted.

In the Winslow, AR Woods__05/2008

Winslow, AR Vacation__05/2008

It was during that trip we first learned we may be moving and by mid Summer confirmation was made. Naturally that prompted several phone calls from my niece; rarely were her questions about me, rather the first words out of her mouth, “How’s Shadow….can I talk to Shadow? Why is Shadow moving again?” To be expected. By late Summer Dax and company were back in DSM for a Shadow visit. They didn’t miss a beat even though it’d been nearly a year since they had been together. It was good for everyone to be together; and it reinforced that Shadow would do well around virtually any other dog; she slipped in and out of her roles as host, resident, dominant, secondary….whatever the situation required. All she wanted to do was fit in, belong and make her people happy. Master of that she was.

Dax Visit to DSM__08/2008

Fall of ’08 came too quickly; it meant 1/2 of our total move was on the horizon which meant rounds of goodbye’s and a bonus for me: I’d have all three pups (and the cat) alone for a few months. Yea me! Trips included a whirlwind tour around the Okoboji area. Fall is spectacular in the NW part of the state; it’d be high on my list of reasons for living there.

Okoboji Trip_09/2008

Okiboji-Trip_ 09/2008

Shadow meant far more to me than a simple scripted single-guy — dog companionship relationship. She represented a chance to start over in several ways. I had lost two pups and a marriage in the months just prior to getting her, I had just met a terrific gal and needed to feel as if I were giving something to someone–in this case both Shadow and my sister. She grew to fill those roles and so many more; it’d be difficult to find a more perfect match at that exact time.

You needed a home in the worst way; I needed an outlet, a challenge, something to fill an expansive void in the worst way. That’s how you entered my life; our lives. In the end selfishly I needed, I wanted more notice; more time. That hardly seems like a fair trade or properly reciprocating our relationship.

You were sent to fill many needs for all of us; I’ll always thank you while simultaneously miss you terribly. It’d be impossible to forget about you if I tried; I’ll remember her as long as I’m able. Thanks so much for all you gave.